In layman’s terms: food that makes you wanna f*ck. I.e. if Bill Cosby tries to feed these to you, beware.
After finishing her epic Valentine’s dish, my hot gf kept bugging me to eat dessert, an abnormal request from her. She rarely ever wants sweets, never mind encourages my overweight ass to eat them. She could barely contain her excitement as she implored me to open the freezer.
“C’mon… open it!” she begged.
“Just a minute!” I told her, typing away at my computer. “I’m trying to write over here.”
Eventually I quelled her pleas and walked over to the fridge. I pulled the handle open, revealing a beautiful menagerie of red, green, brown, and white treats on a tray. She had surprised me with chocolate covered strawberries.
“No wonder you made me go to Shoprite to pick up lamb chops,” I joked. Even in the amount of time I was gone it still amazes me how she pulled something like this off. As I offered her the first bite it dawned on me. “Babe, these are going to be frozen.”
She started laughing hysterically unable to bite through the strawberry. I think the 2 glasses of wine I had poured to keep her occupied while waiting made her buzzed. “I guess we’re going to have to let them sit a little while!” she announced.
I opened the cabinet and grabbed the bag of Pepperidge Farm coconut cookies I had intended to return to Shoprite for not being on sale as advertised. “You’re supposed to be eating my strawberries!” she demanded.
I tore the bag open and ate one as she got up and grabbed a strawberry off the tray. “They’re still frozen,” she stated before attempting to take another bite. “I guess I didn’t think this through.”
Nah, I’m pretty sure she did. My hot gf is a very thoughtful person, regardless of how many unthawed treats she tries to eat. When we finally did get to taste them it was worth the wait.
For those of you looking for a little romance in your life, don’t wait ’til Valentine’s Day for a lustful evening to unfold. Just crank up the fire (or candles), turn on some soulful R&B music (the aforementioned Barry White, or Marvin Gaye will do*), and serve up your person of interest these magical strawberries (my hot gf’s recipe). They’re aphrodisiac-tastic! Whomever you’re looking to seduce won’t even have a chance to tell you you’re corny–they’ll already be too horny.
Chef’s Note: The boyfriend cannot resist dessert, unlike me who prefers a cheese course to it any day; however since we were coming up to the day of love I decided to make him a sweet (somewhat healthy) treat. Chocolate covered strawberries are so easy and delicious that I would consider making them at other points in the year. You could actually put a stick in them and have strawberry pops for those hot summer days (if it ever warms up).
*Some sultry tracks to consider for the evening’s playlist:
-“I’m Qualified to Satisfy You”
-“It’s Ecstasy When You Lay Down Next to Me”
-“You’re the First, the Last, My Everything”
-“Let’s Get It On”
-“Let Me Put My Love Into You” or “You Shook Me All Night Long” (you gotta fit at least one AC/DC song in there somewhere)