“Blizzard 2015. Snowmageddon. Crippling,” my hot gf stood in front of the stove mocking the sensationalism surrounding the upcoming snowstorm. I wanted to believe the drastic predictions would come true because I was in the mood for a lot of snow, but have a hard time believing anything Al Roker says. Nevertheless, she and her sister got a day off work so I’m sure most people were thankful for all the media hype. I don’t have a day job so it makes no difference to me either way.
In other big news: our site has officially gotten our first fans, i.e. non-Facebook friends! It’s very exciting. One reader told us she initially thought the “GF” in our name stood for “gluten free”. Definitely not our target audience, but we’ll take it!
My hot gluten free called me into the kitchen where I took some poor photos of raw whole peppers placed directly on the stove. “I think they are burning,” I told her.
She came over and turned them. “This is what you want. The skin gets charred and then it peels right off. That’s how you make your own roasted peppers at home. Very easy.”
Chef’s Note: It is really exciting to see our blog start to grow. I thought of this idea over dinner a little over a year ago, and am happy we are here today blogging and developing it. So the peppers – specifically these were poblanos, which are not spicy but perfect for roasting. I turn my stove on low and put the peppers right over the flame to char. Once the peppers are darkened you set them to the side (or in a paper bag if you have one) and the skin comes right off. I admit I often buy jarred roasted peppers, but they really are so easy to make at home. #blizzard2015
Snow days are great because you get to stay home and drink, which is no different from any other day for me, except there’s snow and I like that. I poured myself a glass of Ardmore scotch I had purchased with leftover Canadian dollars in a Toronto duty-free shop last September. I was surprised to find soapstones I never knew my hot gf had in her freezer. They happen to be pink, but that’s ok. I prefer them over ice diluting my whiskey and am fairly comfortable with my sexuality.
A commercial for “Premarin vaginal cream” made us all laugh. During it, they run through a laundry list of symptoms that I don’t want to repeat, and we can’t help but wonder what woman is watching this going, “Oh my god! Premarin—that’s what I need.” If you have any of the described symptoms and don’t go to a doctor, you need a lobotomy.
Suddenly, her sister looked up from her phone distressed and announced, “A puppy has been reported lost in Hoboken!”
Oh no, what a tragedy. Perhaps we should go out and search for it? What ever are we going to do?
I kept watching the news without responding. This snowstorm sensationalism is getting a little out of hand. Every goddamn channel is reporting about it like we’ve never had a blizzard. It’s not “thunder snow”, or “Snowmageddon”, or some “bombogenesis” bullshit. If we even get a foot I’ll be surprised. Everybody just calm the fuck down—shit! Jeopardy isn’t on. Ok, now I officially am declaring a state of emergency. What are we going to do? Oh, thank god. Seinfeld is on TBS.
My hot gf immediately started cracking up from the kitchen at a montage of George pretending to be handicapped. This is her all-time favorite show. I thought I was a big fan until I met her. Last night they aired her favorite episode—“The Reverse Peephole”—and she laughed incessantly the whole time. It is a really funny episode, but I think I laughed more just hearing her.
Chef’s Note: The “peephole” episode is the absolute best! If you haven’t seen it go watch it now. Buy it, download it, whatever. Just do it.
As I attempted to push down images of puppies being buried in 8 feet of snow, I typed away at my computer. I once saw a show that said dogs would out-survive humans in an apocalypse. It was on the History Channel or something, so it’s got to be factual. I’m sure this dog would be fine.
Five minutes later, her sister looked up again and jubilantly announced, “The pup has been found! In a record 15 minutes. Guess he wasn’t that lost. He was white so maybe he just blended in.”
Great. We could all relax now. For a minute there I almost lost my desire to get drunk.
If my hot gf’s roast pork recipe was aromatic euphoria, then this chili is the Mexican version of aroma heaven. I didn’t even have to walk into the kitchen to catch a whiff—the entire apartment was filled with a strong scent of peppers, onions, and spices.
I took some photos while she poured an abundance of spices in the crockpot Dutch oven. When she finished, I took a seat back on the couch. If you haven’t noticed, there is a pattern by now. She calls me into the kitchen; I get up from the couch and take pictures; she finishes what she is doing and I sit back on the couch.
Chef’s Note: I love cooking with spices, and you will see often there are many in my recipes. I always have a lot on hand and I recommend you do the same. Some get pricey, but they last a while and can significantly change the flavor of a dish. For chilies, I love using different chili powders, cumin and coriander. I also love hot sauce. I like most everything hot and spicy. Thanks to the boyfriend’s sampling habits, we recently discovered a hot sauce called “Punch Drunk” by Homesweet Homegrown in Whole Foods. The owner was there and he chatted her ear off so much that she even gave us a free copy of her gardening book! Her hot sauces are all made from organic peppers that she grows personally, and delivered the perfect kick I was looking for in this recipe.
The mad scientist at work:
It excites me every time she uses the immersion blender because it’s a pretty cool contraption. I surprised her with it early in our relationship. She had told me about 4 times she wanted one, so when I saw it at Best Buy for real cheap I picked it up. And it works too! The box looked like it had been repackaged but she’s had no problems with it so far.
“This actually is pretty spicy,” my hot gf informed us after tasting her concoction from the bubbling cauldron.
Really? You think? I only watched you dump every bottle from your cabinet in there.
Chef’s Note: While researching white chilies, I noticed that many add milk or cream to thicken since you are missing the thickener tomatoes usually provide. Rather than do that I decided I would use my immersion blender to accomplish this, and it worked perfectly. I LOVE my immersion blender. No fancy diamonds or pearls for this girl – just a simple kitchen tool will do the trick. I have found so many uses for it. If you are looking to invest in a new kitchen tool, might I suggest this. Perhaps your SO will even purchase one for you after seeing this post.
She asked her sister and me if we wanted some cheese. “Sure,” we replied in unison.
“Mmm…this cheese is better than the other one we got from Vermont. They packaged it better and—oh! Shit!” I turned around to see her picking up a 6-inch block of cheese off the floor. “Don’t write that in the blog!” she exclaimed, laughing. I think she’s got to lay off the red wine while she cooks. It’s making her loopy.
Minutes later, she served us. I’d never had white chili before so I wasn’t really sure what I was in for. Growing up my mom always made traditional red bean chili and I loved it, so my hot gf was up for some fierce competition. But this didn’t discourage her, she’s always up for a challenge when it comes to cooking.
If you don’t recall my warning from the beginning, let me reiterate: this chili was really fucking good. I don’t want to say better than my mom’s, but it’s so different it’s hard to compare. For starters, there were chunks of avocado in it. There was a whole medley of colors amongst a beautiful golden brown hue—white, black, green, red, yellow, purple. It was incredibly flavorful, too, but not overly spicy to the point that I needed to drink milk the whole time. It wasn’t too heavy either, even with the essential dollop of sour cream. I think the best small touch she added was the cilantro leaves—minor, but effective. It gave it such a fresh and unique taste in each bite. And the obvious difference: the chicken. You’d be hard-pressed to convince I’d like chicken more than ground beef in chili, but I might have changed my mind after this. I’m sure it’s healthier too, as if I care.
“I’ve never had white chili before,” I told her.
“Even chili is racially divided,” she stated.
“As in it’s usually red?” her sister responded, raising her eyebrows.
“Yes. But I did put black beans in there—so I brought them all together!” she laughed.
Chef’s Note: Most white chilies do call for all white beans, but I really love the flavor of black beans and like the additional color they bring to the recipe. Black beans have an equal right in white chili – you heard it here first, folks. In retrospect I should have made this on MLK day. Oh well.
Do yourself a favor and make this tonight—you won’t regret it. Once you go white, you’ll think red chili is merely “just alright”. Where has white chili been all our lives? It’s time we make a change. We’ve suffered a cuisine injustice of culinary atrocity for far too long. I have a dream that four little chili beans will one day live in a bowl where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their characteristics and health benefits…ok that’s enough now. Just make it and find out for yourself what you’ve been missing out on.